January Joy Dare, and an apology

I only blog when I am emotional and it usually falls after an event that I have planned and looked forward to - thus indicating the low that follows a high (emotionally anyway).

In the new year, I hope to blog more frequently to document the blessings and joys that do come in our lives. I also hope to document the lows, so that I can remember......move on and find the graces in them.

I am starting January's Joy Dare from Ann Voskamp's Book, One Thousand Gift's http://www.aholyexperience.com/


1. Three Things About yourself you are greatful for.
- I am grateful that I am appreciative and that I recognize my blessings - family, friends, opportunities, and possessions. I really feel that I have always had a gift to feel this way. I try to not take things for granted and I stive to always be thankful.

-I have a compassionate heart. Loosing Denton has increased my compassion in some ways, its made me more aware of the struggles of other people. In some way though I do think that I have always had a compassionate heart.

-I am grateful that sometimes I take things seriously and that I am loyal.

2. A gift outside, inside, and on a plate.
Birds, Christmas Trees, Cheese

3. 3 lines that you overheard that were graces
I will have to come back to this one......
Saw and pinterest a Picture that said something about The people that are the most important to you are the ones that love you when you were the most unloveable.

4. one gift old, new, blue
-Denton's Birthstone Ring (Not so old, but worn and cherished everyday), new turkey cutting board from Mom - reminds me of Avery!, Blue Sappaire necklace and earrings Daniel bought for our 10th Wedding Anniversary.


5. something you are reading, you're making, you're seeing
I need to pick a book to read, cross-stich in memory of Denton and my two good horses, that I am going to work on when I go SEEEE Hawaii with Daniel in Febuary.

6. one thing in your bag, your fridge, your heart
-lotion; my mamaw's blackberry jam/sourdough bread starter; Avery, Denton, and Addie Rose

7.Three graces from people you love
-I think that I have gotten graces of tolerance from some of my friends
-I get daily grace from my family
-I get grace from my family - mom, June, Mamaw.....

More pics

Its Been a while......

Missing Denton today, and wishing I could be more dedicated to posting things about Addie and Avery before they grow up.

Addie sat up all by herself at Mamaw's on Saturday, Aug. 20. Then she crawled at Mom's.

This is a quick post.....I love my three children so much. I cherish every minute with them even the ones that don't go so well. Like Avery pitching a fit about Dan's supper last night.

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures!

Valentines

1. Life
2. embroidered cowgirl shirts
3. hungry hippos
4. sunglasses for babies
5. sunshine
6. chocolate covered strawberries
7. family
8. sweet Avery
9. pantry full of food
10. peaceful babies, screaming babies, babies that wont sleep in the night, healthy babies
11. pictures......moments of thanksgiving

numbered wrong......

A recovery supper see earlier post......

Heavy Heart

22. Heaven
23. My Red Couch
24. A very giving six year old
25. Mimi, Gigi. Pa, Pa Randy
26. light through a window making shadows across a room
27. snuggies
28. friends
29. TR6
30. valentines
31. Aunt Aggie's Cow Patties
32. Chicken n dumplins and deviled eggs for recovery
33. cowgirl curtains
34. wild turkeys
35. blue skies and warm weather

I don't like death and the missing that comes. I have not quite grasped how to give thanks for pain.....I am not Job......more like David and his lamenting.....

Answered Prayer, Gifts, Goals

Avery did really good through his surgery yesterday, his condition was pretty severe, but they are able to fix it. I am so grateful and relived that he is ok. However, he will have to have a second procedure in about six months. That is going to be really hard, because he will know what to expect! He is really confused and irritable today...Nothing is making him happy. Thankful that Daniel came home and made him take a nap. I feel so bad for Avery. I know that he is terribly uncomfortable.

Prayer Journal....
Answered pray #1 Avery is safe, and I had to have God with me yesterday, because I got really emotional, because Avery was so scared and upset. I was able to compose myself, and I am thankful that my prayer was answered.

#2
God, please help Avery to heal,help him try to accept we are trying to help him, and please help him to be happy! Thank you for my children and husband, family, and friends.Please be with Nannee!

Gifts....
11. Good Doctors
12. Sleep
13. Goals
14. Names...meaning....understanding
15. Farmers
16. Cheese
17. Snowstorms
18. Bay and Palomino Horses
19. Cameras
20. Soft blankets
21. Nannees and Poppees

Seed - Naming things....driving nails....will help change resentment into gratitude and may help me to accept the mystery of my life that was so life changing.

Water - I need to be intentional in trying to figure out what God wants me to do. Anything worth doing is hard and hard things take practice....I am going to practice and set some goals for myself...read something on another Baby Lost Mom's blog, http://holybfpbatman.blogspot.com/ , that said that change comes from inspiration or desperation. I have had my change from desperation, now I am going to try to make a change through inspiration.


Bloom - I am inspired to make some positive changes intentionally, and I understand it might not be easy. "If you think of this world as a place intended simply for happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad." - CS Lewis.

Goal
1. Finish my list from my earlier posts. (Susan)
2. 31 Days to a better blog (Ok, I am putting myself out there.....I want to make some money by writing, so if anybody is out there reading this mess, and you have some connections to writing jobs please help....)"Anything hard takes practice, driving nails"......
3. 101 ways to get freelance work